The trike hobo, cleverly disguised as a Colorado lawman:
the Colorado Lawman at 65
TRIKE ASYLUM DUES – TIME TO ANTE UP:
Okay all ye trike bums out there, this website has been up and running since February 2010, all for free, no cost, gratis type thing. That’s cool, cuz I enjoy ranting on and on over weird three wheel pedal machines. Now, let’s say there was a subscription charge to read a fabulously famous site such as this one, a modest fee set at only $4.00 yearly, or $1.00 for a three month period. After six years of reading, that would amount to a measly 24 bucks, not bad if ya’ like the content here. I feel like a pitch-man for National Public Radio, gettin’ ready to deliver a guilt trip, but it works for them, so …
If ya’ get the above mentioned book, that will pay yer dues since February 2010. Now keep in mind, most of the money doesn’t go to me as the author – I just get a small percentage of it, but every little bit helps a hobo triker dude feel good about typing for years on end to a bunch of people he’ll never likely meet. Okay, I’ve met a few, but not many. It’s all a very voluntary thing, just like public radio, and I have no way to know who buys and who does not, so you’re safe either way. But, ya’ know what? This new book may be quite interesting to you, so you’d be gettin’ somethin’ fer yer money. For example …
In it, you’ll discover the days before the trike hobo rose to his current triangular status, a fun head trip in itself, and you’ll read true crime stories about how I rounded up all the bad guys (and gals) in a remote Colorado county with only three cops total for the whole darn place! You’ll read how I had to capture a golden eagle my first week on the job. You’ll read how I put my patrol vehicle into a skid at 70 miles per hour and tore the rear tires clean off the rims. You’ll read how I faced down a shotgun-toting drunk at two in the morning, and lived to tell about it. You’ll read why I needed a telephone at my home toilet. You’ll read of the time I burned 23 huge marijuana plants in the tiny town of 200, bringing out the locals to see what was going on. You’ll read about a guy who was operating a motor vehicle while dead. You’ll read about a teenager who murdered his two teenage friends, and how I did my part in bringing the deranged boy to justice. You’ll read about a touring bicyclist who passed multiple bad checks to town businesses for a few days, and how I apprehended the pedal pusher. You’ll read about the guy who kept asking me if he could smoke just one more joint while I was booking him for possession. You’ll read about a saloon customer who shot an arrow into the Baptist church steeple because the preacher had complained about the loud music at the saloon the week prior. You’ll read about a shameless town crook who siphoned all the gasoline out of the town’s fire truck one night. All this, and WAY more, is yours in this latest, and last, trike hobo book. Ya’ don’t want ta miss it, 472 pages of really bizarre stuff, with 229 photos of life in the remote high country.
Okee dokee, go pay yer dues partner. I gotta’ saddle up and head out (on Bigfoot). See ya’.
VISIT THE OFFICIAL COLORADO LAWMAN WEBSITE HERE.